I am a student in the Uru MÄnuka Cluster. This is a place where I will share my learning. Please note that some of it will not be complete, it will be my first drafts. Remember to be positive, thoughtful and helpful when you leave me a comment.
Friday, June 11, 2021
The split
The Split
She had been standing there for hours, surrounded by ice. As the sun peeped its head over the distant mountains on the horizon, an orange and yellow hue filled the sky. The warmth of the sun was a gesture of kindness to her frozen hands, which she clasped together in front of her trembling body. It was then that she heard it… Crack! It was as if the world in front of her was breaking in two…
She stands there wondering what's happening. As she stood there the crack in the ice was getting bigger she could see everything in the ocean as she looked deeper the ice cracked behind and she fell into the ocean she tried to get out but she couldn’t as she seen her falling farwer from the water Her family got the news about her death but Alizabeth the girl knew that she wasn’t dead after 5 years it was her birthday and there family would celebrated her birthday occurring to her death but Alizabeth was even happy celebrating with her atlantic friends in the ocean where Alizabeth is know is her only dream is to breath under water and being a Queen her and her friends each year on Alizabeth birthday would go out and catch some seaweed Alizabeth is the Queen of Atlantic and her only dream is to talk to sea creature and it come true she has a Lobster friends name Larry and a Big blue whale name Destiny and her best friends Clowny the Clown fish they weren't Alizabeth only friends she had more but they didn’t show up to the party so she was quit sad about that… Anyways as her and her friends were having fun Eating seaweed her and her friends decided to see what it like to back to the lighthouse The lighthouse been there for centuries and it was the last Build Alizabeth seen when she died but Alizabeth that they would get caught because giant ships go there Larry and destiny said it was be bad because Destiny to big and Larry just food but Clowny the clown fish didn’t waste any time and swam to the lighthouse and called Alizabeth to follow as Alizabeth didn’t know what to do she follow behind and telling Larry and destiny it would be fine destiny and Larry said they would stay back but Alizabeth was already gone as Alizabeth and Clowny were having fun they finally made to the lighthouse science clowney can only stay on land for 10 minutes he told Alizabeth to go so she did but Alizabeth didn’t tell her friends that she was half human and as she went to go stand on the land Clowney seen people coming he jump out and pulled Alizabeth back in the water before those humans could see her she thank Clowney but before she could say another thank you Clowney was crap by the humans and he was taken away into the house Alizabeth watch from the water she return back to Larry and destiny and they ask where Clowney was and ALizabeth told them he died Larry and Destiny were sad and saying they should of not went there Alizabeth said she knows and then she swam back to where the seaweed cake was supposed to be after Alizabeth birthday after 2 days later they had funeral for Clowney Alizabeth didn’t show up because she thought her family would thing Alizabeth kill him after a couple hours she thought the funeral would be over so she left her coral house her dad ask her where she was going and she said no where the dad knew she was going somewhere after ALizabeth left her dad wanted to follow her to see if she was lying Alizabeth keep walking and her dad was following after a while she walk into this water cave as her dad watch from behind a rock as he seen ALizabeth she was setting down on a rock lying down on a rock and then she waited for her life to end Alizabeth tried killing herself and before her dad could come she was already dead then the dad did some exstream
TO BE CONTINUED
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Kia ora Tama.
ReplyDeleteYou have some wonderful ideas.You use a lot of describing words that make your story interesting.
I do find your story a bit hard to follow as you need to add some more punctuation.
Maybe next time write half of what you have written here and then re-read it.
Thank you for sharing the learning that you have been doing.I do enjoy checking out your posts.